Tantric s*x Tips That Anyone Can Try Always
May 19, 2017
Make eye contact.
Adding tantra to your s*x life may sound complicated, but it’s just about heightening connection to your partner and being in the moment. One of the easiest ways to experience that is through eye contact, Singh say
By exploring kink and B-D-S-M, you can channel an open-mindedness that allows for the connections tantra is all about, Singh says. “When you’re putting yourself in a vulnerable position, you’re putting yourself in a position to be cracked open, which is such a huge part of tantra,” she says.
Whether that means you’re blindfolded and waiting for a whip to make contact with your bum, or you’re simply sharing your secret fetishes, you can really tap into tantric s*x principles, including making eye contact and being aware of your breath. “Once you learn how to make yourself vulnerable to your partner, that’s where transformation happens,” Singh says. “You can have people emotionally cry and de-block, if you will, even if it doesn’t look like as what we think of as tantric technique.”
Talk during s*x.
According to tantric s*x coach Devi Ward, when it comes to kissing, touching, and s*x, it’s all about the connection — and one of the best ways to foster this connection is to talk to your partner while you’re doing all of these things.
Rather than simply guessing that a moan during oral s*x means your partner enjoys that technique, or being worried that silence means they’re bored, step up your tantric s*x game and actually talk about what you enjoy while you’re enjoying it. Moaning is great, but try to use your words to verbalize exactly what you like about your partner’s technique and what’s happening in the moment, Ward says.
“When we discuss our pleasure with our partner and give them praise and appreciation, number one it makes them want to do it more, number two it builds intimacy and trust,” she says.
Synchronize your breathing.
Stop what you’re doing and take 10 deep, long breaths. Feel better? We thought so. Ward recommends taking 10 deep breaths before initiating touch with your partner to ground yourself. Once things start to get sexy, you can take your tantric breathing exercises a step further by synchronizing your breaths with your partner.
Ward says that these breathing practices are best done when facing your partner, so try a face-to-face s*x position like Lotus, and then look into each other’s eyes and follow each other’s breaths until they match. “When you harmonize your breath, this allows for this juicy energetic connection to occur, specifically if you’re sitting private part to private part,” Ward says.
Write a list of what turns you on.
Tantra is friendly to first-timers, but it still requires you to do a little bit of homework (don’t worry, it’s fun). Since communication is the key to forming the connection tantric s*x is all about, it’s important that you understand what turns you on before you communicate your s*xual wants and needs.
During her tantric s*x coaching sessions with couples, Singh has each partner write a list of what turns them on. After each individual has made theirs, they exchange lists and talk them out. Not only will this activity turn into a steamy brainstorm session — it’s pretty much dirty talk — but it’s a wonderful opportunity to learn more about yourself and your lover. Plus, Singh says that any kink, from role-playing to B-D-S-M, can be tantric when done intentionally.
Awesome news: You don’t need to be in a relationship to add tantra to your s*x life. Anyone can try tantric s*x by self servicing. “When you’re single, that’s a great time to work on [breathing, awareness of your desires, and being present], and become sexually explorative of yourself,” Singh says. In fact, she says that practicing tantra while you’re flying solo will allow you to be more in tune with yourself when you’re having partnered s*x. Also, if you do have a partner and they’re not into exploring tantra, self servicing is a great way to incorporate it into your own s*x life.